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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28248927">I Love...</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/F00PY/pseuds/F00PY'>F00PY</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Analogical Hogwarts [14]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crying, Genius! Logan, Harry potter verse, Hogwarts AU, Hufflepuff! Patton, Hurt Logic | Logan Sanders, Logan Angst, Logan Has Low Self-Esteem, Logan blackmails a bunch of people, Logan overworks himself, M/M, Ravenclaw! Logan, Ravenclaw! Virgil, Sherlock-Like! Logan, Slytherin! Janus, They're in 4th year, Virgil Apologizes, barely edited, established relationships - Freeform, fluff at the end, mentions of bullying, mentions of child abuse, they're both 14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:40:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,274</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28248927</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/F00PY/pseuds/F00PY</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Come in.”</p><p>Virgil’s head poked around the corner. “L?”</p><p>Logan glanced him over on instinct.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Analogical - Relationship, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders &amp; Deceit | Janus Sanders (Mentioned), Anxiety | Virgil Sanders &amp; Morality | Patton Sanders (Mentioned), Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders &amp; Logic | Logan Sanders (Mentioned), Deceit | Janus Sanders &amp; Morality | Patton Sanders (Mentioned), Logic | Logan Sanders &amp; Morality | Patton Sanders (Mentioned)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Analogical Hogwarts [14]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1954183</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>163</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Love...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>Dear Mr. and Mrs. Thompson,</i>
</p><p><i>According to the treaty signed on December 5th, 1943, you owe multiple life debts to the Drake Family after they saved your family from an attack by several Dark wizards. Staying silent in their son's hour of need</i> is<i> considered a breach of that contract and you will lose all your magical assets, among other things.</i></p><p>
  <i>To properly continue with your contract, you must:</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Send a letter to the School Administration, Headmaster, Minister, and other areas of government that have power in this region employing them to allow Janus Drake to remain at school, with use of Wolfsbane as needed.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Use your power to encourage other family members to do the same, calling in Purebloods family that is indebted to you or just family friends.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Loudly and officially show your support for Janus Drake.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Loudly and officially show your distaste for Werewolf clause fifteen.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>If you choose not to fulfill your obligation to the Drake Family, your magical assets will be stripped away. Depending on how egregiously you ignore the contract, your namesake will be removed as well.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Sincerely,</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Logan Berry</i>
</p><p>
  <i>P.S. If this still doesn’t sway you, let Mr. Thompson know that I quite enjoyed reading about Peppermint Tea and wouldn’t mind discussing my reading with the Ministry.</i>
</p><p> </p><p>Logan briefly glanced over the 2187th letter he had written, before quietly nodding to himself and sealing it with his family’s crest. He looked up, hoping that one of the school owls might’ve returned- and found them all still out sending the letters he had written before this one.</p><p>Maybe he should’ve learned how to send a Patronus Charm. Instead, Logan had spent his time concentrating on creating a spell that made it impossible for the caster to feel tired until they removed the blue and copper bracelet (nothing wrong with house pride) Logan had connected the spell to.</p><p>He glanced down at that bracelet now. Frankly, he had pushed himself far beyond his limit at this point. It had been a week since Logan had removed it and Logan was 99.8% sure the moment he did he would pass out and not awaken for the next three days.</p><p>But that didn’t matter.</p><p>Not while there was work to be done.</p><p>Logan was seated in the Owlery. He had set up a little desk for himself the night Janus had gotten attacked and had barely moved since, only ever coming down when Virgil made him get something to eat. Letters had flown off his desk and out of his window as fast as his hand could write and more than once he had been forced to switch hands out of fear of losing momentum.</p><p>There were 1,000 students at Hogwarts.</p><p>Of that 10-15% were Pureblood. They would usually be more likely to have a problem with allowing a werewolf to attend Hogwarts, but the letters Logan had sent spoke differently. Not a single Pureblood had gotten back to him with bad news (not that Logan had really expected them to).</p><p>60-65% were half-blood. They too would usually have a problem with werewolves and they too would hopefully be silenced by the letters Logan was sending. Even though the Berry and Drake family had less sway with them, half-bloods were apparently just as likely to have dirt on them that Logan could (and did) dig up that would put them on his side. </p><p>Logan finished the next letter, signed it, stamped it, and set it aside, already reaching over for the next piece of parchment.</p><p>Muggleborns would listen to their friends and then report what they heard about werewolves to their parents. In other words, Muggleborn parents would only have a problem with Janus attending if their kids had a problem.</p><p>So Logan just had to make sure they didn’t.</p><p>For the past week, students had mysteriously found that all propaganda on werewolves had gone missing, replaced with books written by werewolves and books that explained the damaging stereotypes. Every student had gotten a letter that randomly appeared beside their pillow, explaining what it meant to be a werewolf, including precautions werewolves had to take and laws stacked up against them.</p><p>And that was it.</p><p>That was the one box Logan couldn’t check. The one box that would forever be just out of Logan’s reach.</p><p>It was illegal for a werewolf to be taught at <i>any</i> magic school.</p><p>He could get the parents on his side.</p><p>He could get the kids.</p><p>He could even get government officials.</p><p>He could not get the law.</p><p>Which was why it was so important to have the school board on his side, ready to make an exception. </p><p>And why it was so important that he kept working.</p><p>There was a knock on the Owlery door and Logan jumped. His quill skidded across his next letter and he let out a quiet sigh, shoving it aside and reaching for the next piece of parchment.</p><p>“Come in.”</p><p>Virgil’s head poked around the corner. “L?”</p><p>Logan glanced him over on instinct.</p><p>Dark circles. He wasn’t sleeping.</p><p>Slight tremor. Janus was still in the hospital wing.</p><p>Pursed lips. Patton hadn’t moved from Janus’s bedside yet.</p><p>Upward turn on those lips. The students supported keeping Janus around. (Thank Merlin.)</p><p>Messy hair. Virgil hadn’t started going back to class yet.</p><p>Tight jawline. Logan was making Virgil upset.</p><p><i>“Logan, stop </i>reading<i> me.”</i></p><p>Logan winced and turned away from the figure by the door.</p><p>Virgil had apologized for lashing out at him. He had done it the morning after the attack, assuring Logan that he was just dealing with a lot and had meant none of it, as Logan had deduced in the moment.</p><p>But… </p><p>
  <i>“I’m trying not to read you.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“You should do that more often.”</i>
</p><p>“Hey, Virge.” </p><p>“L.” Virgil stepped up to him, taking a moment to fully glower at the bracelet on his wrist before grabbing Logan’s hand. “You need a break.”</p><p>Logan tried to smile but it fell short.</p><p>“I’m fine. I have the bracelet-”</p><p>“I should <i>break</i> that stupid thing-”</p><p>“-which means I can’t get tired-”</p><p>“But you pass out for days afterward, which can’t be healthy.”</p><p>“-and I ate…” Logan paused. “Well, I definitely ate yesterday morning. Wait. No. The morning before that.”</p><p>Even he winced at that. But there was just so much to get done… he really couldn’t afford any breaks. </p><p>(It didn’t help that most breaks were around Virgil and Logan spent the entire time trying not to notice things he just couldn’t help but notice.)</p><p>Virgil let out a long sigh. “And now you can eat this afternoon. Come on.”</p><p>He pulled Logan up and out of the desk, towards the Owlery door. But Logan tugged back. “I can’t afford too many breaks, Virgil. I promised Janus that he would get to stay here.” The hand outside of Virgil’s grip clenched into a ball. “And he will. But in order to do that-”</p><p>“You can’t do it if you starve yourself to death,” Virgil said firmly. He pulled Logan up against his body and fondly glared at him. “It can wait for thirty minutes.”</p><p>Logan was about to look down at Virgil and figure out how hard it would be to convince him to let him finish a letter when-</p><p>
  <i>“I’m not one of your fucking books.”</i>
</p><p>His eyes closed and he took a step back, away from his boyfriend and towards the pile of plans behind him.</p><p>“I’m nowhere near starving myself to death. You don’t have to worry.”</p><p>He pulled himself out of Virgil’s grasp and made his way back over to the desk. Just before he could plop himself down in the chair, Virgil grabbed his wrist and turned Logan’s body to face him.</p><p>“L…” Virgil’s voice trailed off. Not out of worry- worry was certainly there, but there was an underlying emotion, something much more prominent and much more important to what he was about to say.</p><p>This emotion was further shown in the way his hand trembled against Logan’s and the way Virgil’s throat bobbed as he swallowed-</p><p>
  <i>Stop it.</i>
</p><p>Logan closed his eyes.</p><p>“L, is there something else going on?”</p><p>
  <i>Fuck.</i>
</p><p>Logan refused to lie to Virgil, but he also didn’t want to tell Virgil the truth. Virgil would blame himself for lashing out when he was just having trouble dealing with the trauma of what had happened. Besides, when it really came down to it, Logan was just making things bigger than they were.</p><p>Which was <i>unhelpful, illogical,</i> and <i>wrong.</i></p><p>It was <i>wrong.</i></p><p>Logan resisted the urge to run his hand through his hair. </p><p>He had been quiet for too long. Virgil’s gaze held more certainty now and he reached out a hand to brush down Logan’s forearm.</p><p>“Do you want to talk about it?”</p><p>Logan couldn’t look at him. He couldn’t-</p><p>There was so much he couldn’t do.</p><p>“I need to help Janus.”</p><p>Virgil squeezed his hand. “You know I’m making you take a break no matter what,” he said softly. The words were like a metal feather- holding the appearance of light when in truth there was a strong heaviness to it. “But if there’s something other than Janus going on with you… let me help.”</p><p>Logan blinked against the burning in his eyes and turned up to the ceiling. A large spot of it was darker- Dumbledore might want to take a look at that because Logan gave it one good snowfall before it fell in.</p><p>
  <i>Goddammit!</i>
</p><p>He couldn’t even look at a <i>fucking</i> ceiling without seeing things people shouldn’t, without knowing things that only… only <i>freaks</i> would be able to figure it out.</p><p>A tear slid down his cheek. He reached up to wipe it away- but Virgil’s hand got there first, gently brushing the tear away and using the motion to turn Logan’s head down, to make Logan meet his eyes and look right at him.</p><p>Logan’s eyes shuttered shut.  </p><p>“Please talk to me, L,” Virgil said softly. His finger spun on Logan’s wrist, offering a smooth gentle motion for him to concentrate on. “It can’t be good for you to bottle it all up and I can’t deduce-”</p><p>Logan flinched.</p><p> </p><p>Virgil blinked. “L?”</p><p>Logan's eyes were still shut. He wasn’t looking at him- in fact, now that Virgil thought about it, he couldn’t remember the last time he had really seen Logan take the time to just watch him, which was something Logan used to do a lot- and something that always made Virgil blush.</p><p>Virgil thought back.</p><p>It must’ve been before the attack.</p><p>No, wait… </p><p>It was right after the attack. In the hospital. When Virgil had said… </p><p>When Virgil had said… </p><p><i>“Logan, stop </i>reading<i> me. I’m not one of your fucking books.”</i></p><p>
  <i>“Sorry. I can’t really help it.”</i>
</p><p>Fuck.</p><p>Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck <i>fuck FUCK-</i></p><p>“Logan,” Virgil said, a touch of urgency to his voice, “Logan please tell me what’s wrong. I can’t help you if you don’t explain.”</p><p>Logan shook his head. “I can’t.” His voice broke on the second word and he leaned into Virgil’s grip. “I can’t.”</p><p>He sounded exhausted- no, that wasn’t the right word. His boyfriend’s stupid bracelet kept him from feeling the fact that he hadn’t slept for a week.</p><p>No, Logan didn’t sound tired.</p><p>He sounded <i>broken.</i></p><p>Virgil swallowed, but it did nothing to push down the lump growing in his throat. His eyes stung- but he shoved it back when he watched another tear slip down his boyfriend's cheek, knowing it was his inability to shut his damn mouth that led Logan there.</p><p>“You can,” Virgil said softly. “It’s okay. Talking helps.”</p><p>Logan didn’t look at him and Virgil could feel his chest caving in.</p><p>“Hey.” Virgil ran a hand down Logan’s forearm. “Communicating is important, right?”</p><p>“Right,” Logan choked. Finally, finally, he met Virgil’s eyes and almost instantly, his own filled with tears. A quiet curse passed Logan’s lips and instantly he was looking away again.</p><p>This time, Virgil didn’t press. He stood and waited for Logan to secure his breath, holding onto his boyfriend’s hand all the while as a quiet lifeline.</p><p>“I’m… having cognitive distortions,” Logan said quietly. Tears began to travel down his cheeks, tears that flowed too steadily to be brushed away but too light to cause any serious problems. “I don’t know how to phrase this.”</p><p>Virgil squeezed his hand and remained silent.</p><p>“I’ve never been considered nor-normal,” Logan finally said. His voice quivered and Virgil gently squeezed his hand. “There’s a school for magic-raised children ag-ages 4-10, but I finished the entire system in the first two weeks. They put me in with the ten-year-olds just to put me some-somewhere.”</p><p>Words were spoken through quiet sobs, sobs that shook Virgil's entire body and kept his heart pounding frantically as if the faster it beat the happier it could make Logan.</p><p>“My parents are rarely home, but when they are it's because they’re hosting parties for the pureblood community. We’re not f-fully pure, We’re mostly pure, and my parents feel that very strongly. They host parties in h-hopes of making everyone else forget it.</p><p>“I used to spend those parties reading in the corner. But I would still… deduce everyone I saw, all without trying and… w-well.</p><p>“They didn’t like it. Th-they really didn’t like it and they used to get so mad that I was able to figure them out with a glance.”</p><p>Virgil blinked. “Did they hurt you?”</p><p>“They never did anything physical,” Logan promised. It was Logan’s turn to squeeze Virgil’s hands. “Not even the bullies at my school ever touched me. B-but the names were enough to make me… strongly dislike my brain, and the way I instinctively pick-pick things apart.”</p><p>
  <i>“Why’re your eyes closed?”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I’m trying not to read you.”</i>
</p><p>It would’ve hurt less to have had a dull knife carve out his heart. Virgil trembled, though from exactly what he couldn’t tell you. His eyes felt hard and yet watery at the same time and every part of him wanted to wrap Logan in a hug and keep him there forever.</p><p>“Then I met you.” A smile appeared on Logan’s face, a rainbow amongst the rain falling down his face that only filled Virgil with dread. “And you didn’t judge my brain. You-You even liked it and you <i>wanted</i> me to use it and it was… it <i>is</i> amazing.”</p><p>Logan closed his eyes. “I’m sorry.” He whispered. “This is really long.”</p><p>“It’s okay, L,” Virgil responded instantly. “I want to hear it.”</p><p>“You told me you didn’t want me to deduce back in the hospital wing. And I <i>know</i> it's just because you were upset. I <i>know</i> you normally don’t hate it and that maybe you even like it sometimes, but it just… I can’t get it out of my head.”</p><p>
  <i>...you normally don’t hate it and that maybe you even like it sometimes…</i>
</p><p>Virgil flinched.</p><p>Logan glanced at Virgil and his eyes instantly widened, placing both hands on either side of Virgil’s shoulders. “It’s not your fault. You were dealing with high emotions, which is hard to do, and you accidentally landed on something I’m sensitive about, and then I went and had cognitive distortions-”</p><p>Virgil turned his head and pressed a kiss to the left hand on his shoulder, effectively shutting Logan up. His heart ached in his chest and two words pounded in his head.</p><p>
  <i>Your fault.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Your fault.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Your. Fault.</i>
</p><p>He shook his head against the thoughts.</p><p>Because in the end, it didn’t matter. In fact, thinking that way was probably the worst thing Virgil could do because it was one of the reasons Logan had stayed quiet about it this long and if Logan picked up on it, it might hinder their abilities to communicate in the future.</p><p>But besides that, it still really didn’t matter.</p><p>What mattered was that Logan was hurting. What mattered is that Virgil took this message and used it to make sure he never did anything like it again. What mattered was that they both learned from this.</p><p>“Let’s sit down,” Virgil said gently. </p><p>He drew Logan away from the stupid desk and the two of them sat down beside each other against the walls of the owlery, arms brushing against one another with a slight tilt so they could more easily see one another.</p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p>Logan opened his mouth, but Virgil held up a finger.</p><p>“I'm so sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for lying to you. Logan…” Virgil closed his eyes, trying to figure out the best way to say what he was thinking. “I love you.”</p><p>Logan swallowed.</p><p>“I love the way you wake up at 6:00 on the dot every morning and have already finished two books by the time I’m fully able to open my eyes. I love that you keep your hair neat, and I love that I’m one of the few you allow to mess it up. I love the way you squeak when you find something in a book that you didn’t know before and I love the way you close your eyes as you commit the new facts to memory.”</p><p>Logan's entire face had gone a bright red. He opened his mouth again- probably to tell Virgil that this was unnecessary- when Virgil built up to what he was getting at.</p><p>“And I love your brain, Logan.”</p><p>Logan gaped at him, mouth opening and closing like a very <i>very</i> confused fish.</p><p>“I love the way you can find the smallest things that ordinary people would never notice and use that to figure out a person’s story. It’s helpful when you do it with me, because it means when I’m freaking out or need to get a point across that I’m struggling with, you’re able to push me through it regardless of my ability to communicate.</p><p>“I don’t, as you said, <i>don’t hate it</i> and <i>maybe even like it sometimes,</i> I <i>love</i> it. It was the part of you that first made me want to be your friend.”</p><p>Logan ducked behind his hand, and his whole body began to tremble. Large silent sobs shook him and gently, Virgil brought him out of his cocoon, so his teary face looked right at him and reached out to press a slow decisive kiss right on Logan’s forehead.</p><p>Logan fell into his arms, trembling like a leaf in a hurricane.</p><p>“I swear to you, L,” Virgil whispered, “I swear to you, your ability to deduce things, your complete brilliance, are things I love. I would never want you to be without them. In the hospital wing, I was upset and stupid, and I was <i>lying.</i> I was lying for no reason when I really did want you to read me and I really did want you to help me.”</p><p>A loud sob came from Virgil’s arms and tears pricked Virgil’s own eyes. Before he could help it, he too was crying, admittedly much more softly than Logan, and Virgil pulled his boyfriend as close as possible.</p><p>“Every time you deduce me or tell me some random fact that nobody else could possibly know, it’s like… it’s like I’m looking into starlight. You’re my starlight, Logan. Do you understand?”</p><p>Logan nodded against Virgil's chest. “Y-y-yes.”</p><p>Virgil pulled Logan up so they were eye to eye. A single finger reached out to point right and Logan’s forehead- right where Virgil had kissed, where Logan’s brilliance was stored.</p><p>“Starlight,” Virgil whispered.</p><p>Logan’s face glowed red and suddenly his lips were on Virgil’s and Virgil kissed him back until all he didn’t even know where Logan ended and he began.</p>
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